Epiphany #2: Boundaries

Picture this: you are looking to buy a new house, and you've got three addresses on your list. You go to the first one, and you're surprised. Before you is a ten foot, razor wire fence with hot wire imbedded in a mesh of metal. All you can see is a dark roof peeking over the enormous line of intimidation. So, like any other normal person, you.... decide to look elsewhere.

The next house you visit is in a nice neighborhood. It even has a mother-in-law suite out by the pool. Features are nice, lots of wide open space, and you can see the neighbors! But then, you have a daydream that's more of a nightmare. You imagine your in-laws moving into the bonus house and coming in the back door for breakfast, lunch and dinner.... Every day. Not to mention the intrusion of your neighbors on all your supposedly small get-togethers. On second thought, maybe you don't want this house afterall.

Time to see the third house, and you're hoping it's a keeper. You hold your breath and start driving. The address takes you to a beautiful tree-lined cul-de-sac. On your right is the house of your dreams, and it is calling your name! The layout is perfect, and the yard is graced with a beautiful white picket fence. The price is right and so you sign on your perfect home. 

All these homes were probably livable; it was just one thing that made them really different from one another: their boundaries. Family relationships are a lot like fences. They all protect our homes, or in this case our families. But the spaces between the slats in the barrier define our relationships with others. They can easilly be too tightly woven, resembling house number one. No communication can occur at all. On the opposite side of this spectrum is the situation of house number two. Communications are open, which sounds great at first. But as you look closer, you notice the lack of privacy the property provides. This is a lot like those relationships in your life that are a little TOO open. This too will become unhealthy over time. The last of these houses is the one with the picket fence. The slats of white wood are not too high, but give a sense that, "This side is mine, and that side is yours."  You can still see your neighbors, but the line is respectfully clear. This is the kind of boundary is the most healthy type of relationship. It's what keeps people close, and private when needed. This is the kind of relationship that is worth the time and effort to make, so that you too can have the home of your dreams.

Epiphany #1: Society For the Family

Worries about resources... mass starvation... not being able to stop human population growth.... For years now, the world has been thought of as a place that is being taken over by toxic chemicals and an exponential rise in population. In some cultures, people have been criticized for having more than one child, and it is becoming increasingly popular to have these children out of wedlock. But I'm getting ahead of myself... Let's get to some facts:

•  Now, more than 40% of newborns don't have both a mother and father to be born to.

• Countries like Japan are now paying couples to get married, and you can receive more than tax breaks in some places by simply having a baby.

• Cohabitation has increased from a reported 430,000 individuals in 1960, to over 6.1 MILLION in 2008.

• Birthrate has decreased significantly since the 1960s, from nearly 30 births per 1000 women, to a mere 12. 

Simply put, families are disintegrating. I have a hunch that this has some sort of affect on the world as a whole. Just look around you. When was the last time you saw a dad playing at the park with his children? How often do you see a mother with her five little kiddos in the supermarket, and find yourself saying, "Haven't you ever heard of birth control?" We as a culture do not value the family unit like we used to. Individualism has taken root in most cultures, and that may seem fine and dandy. Afterall, it's good to get an honorable education, and it's important to provide for the necessities in life. At this point you're probably asking yourself, "What on earth does this talk about families have anything to do with me?!" The truth is, it has everything to do with everyone. The world may think that families are only important to sustain a healthy society. I beg to differ. If we want to save this world from self destruction, we need to focus on the family. Instead of having a family for society, we need to have a society for the family.