Epiphany #8: The Modern Day Homemaker

For years, I have been preparing to go to college and pursue an education. For a while I didn't really know what I wanted to do. I had interests in being a photographer, maybe even design, psychology, or perhaps a scientist?  Needless to say I was a little confused.Then on the back of my mind remained my all-encompassing goal of one day being a full-time stay-at-home mom. I had always been taught the importance and fulfillment that comes from being there for your kids. To me it sounded nice, but I wasn't convinced that it would be practical. Afterall, we are in the 21st century, and being a mom might not cut it financially. Or would it? That would be a lesson for me to learn this week.

I was sitting in my Family Relations class, and the topic of the day was "Work and Home." Perfect, right? My teacher began to write an equation on the board of the overall income of a family that went from one income to two. This is what it looked like.

$43,000

+23,000

--------------

$41,500

How could this be?!?! That is obviously not the logical math. You can't possibly add two positive numbers together and come out with a sum less than what you started with.  Then he explained that this is what happens to a majority of people who decide that they want to both start working to bring more money into the family. It makes sense too: You think that if you just had a little more, THEN you'd be happy. But once you get there you realize that you can work a little longer to have a little MORE.... and on and on until yes you have a higher standard of living, but your bank account does not reflect such an outward appearance. 

This made me feel a little bit better about my desire to be a homemaker. However, I still had one concern on my mind: How can I stay away from losing my intellect? Doesn't being a mom kind of keep you from the outside world? Enter the assignment for today. My teacher emailed us an article and simply asked us to respond with a paragraph of insights we gained. The article was titled, "Does a Full-Time Homemaker Swap Her Mind for a Mop?" In this article by Dennis Prager, he suggests reasons why the title to his article is so very wrong. He shows many ways that the exact opposite is true. I now suggest that you read this article too. It changed my whole opinion on the academic life of a mother. By being a stay-at-home mom, I can be in tune with the whole world. Whether it be t.v. shows, the news, books, or service opportunities, a mother can and should be looking for ways to become more intellectual. By being a mom, I can still feel fulfilled because I am fully in tune with the world and most importantly my family. This week of class has liberated me in a very real way. As I do these things, I will be fulfilled in what I feel has been my divine destiny all along.

Epiphany #7: Miscommunications

We have miscommunications a daily basis. People are rood, judgmental, and let's be honest, think about themselves all of the time. Overall, most can agree that we need to be learning about being better communicators. We need to speak more clearly, say what me mean, and mean what we say. I used to feel the same exact way. That is until my professor shared a vital piece of information that ignited a paradigm shift in the way I thought about communication.

He said that the way we decode and interpret someone's messages to us is at least half of the problem. Just think about it: we decide what any given situation means to us. We can choose what we make of it, and that is what it becomes. The scientific term of "The Self-fulfilling prophecy" is very real, and we need to recognize that we are the ones with a duty to decide. As we work to interpret what people are communicating to us, we will keep emotions from fogging up our perceptions, and lead us to seeing the real facts. Truth is the only thing that will always cut through the darkness, and we will have the most effective communications when we have an attitude of understanding and love, rather than criticism and malice. 

It's taken me a really long time to begin to understanding communications in this way. We need to be better communicators. Yes that includes being as clear and responsible as possible. However, we need to be seeing the other party through this same lens instead of assuming the exact opposite. In other words, we need to be willing to decode messages on the side of mercy. This valuable skill can transfer into any setting, whether it be work or family. We would all do well to "Try a little harder to be a little better (Gordon B. Hinkley)." When we do we are empowered to have the necessary energy we need in order to make our relationships count, and in a world like the one we have there is no more room for error.

Epiphany #6: It's All In Your Mind

Everyone has to deal with crisis at some time in their life. Many times a crisis involves more than one person. And yet, when we are in the same situation as someone else, we all experience the same crises differently. So what on earth makes the difference?

Of course we know that everyone has different life experiences, and we are made up of those experiences. We all have different personalities, so of course we all react differently to similar situations. But one thing really makes the difference, no matter who you are or where you come from. This difference is the way you think about the situation. I mean, really, the only difference between seeing a crisis as a stressor or a blessing is simply what you decide that it is. Take, for example, a house fire. This is obviously not a situation that you can change. You simply have a choice. You can decide to grieve for years over the rubble left behind, or proudly exclaim, "Well, now it's termite-free!" This may sound a little exotic, but I am trying to make a point. The situation itself did not change; only the attitude of the individual did. This truth can be liberating to all those who did not know they could make a choice. The uncomfortability can come when you recognize that you have the responsibility to choose.
We are not given our agency to stand on the sidelines and be acted upon. We need to choose to be positive, choose to be uplifting, and change the situation by changing your attitudes about it. When we do, we liberate ourselves, and ignite a chain reaction that allows others to see that they can change too.